As I mentioned in a previous post, our struggles continued after Asher was discharged from the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). It’s incredible, really, to look back now and see how God has worked in everything we’ve been through in the last month.
The whole reason Asher was in SCBU in the first place was because he was dehydrated and jaundiced. The dehydration was caused by an insufficiency in my breast milk supply. After working with a midwife who specialises in breastfeeding, it was decided that my low milk supply was due to all the trauma and blood loss I suffered as a result of Asher’s birth. It was a difficult discovery to make.
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| Finally able to feed my own son! |
Since coming home from hospital the 2nd time, I had been breastfeeding Asher. Then I would use a breast pump to get the rest of the milk off while someone else (Leon or one of my parents) would feed Asher with a bottle of formula. This was exhausting work when it had to be done every 3 hours (yes, even through the night)!! The hardest part was when I discovered that all of that hard work to increase my milk supply wasn’t really paying off, even with the medication I was on.
This was becoming a lesson in humility. I really had my heart set on breastfeeding my baby. Through many (many, MANY) tears, long nights, and prayers, I decided to stop breastfeeding. I know it really isn’t that big of a decision to make, but as the postnatal, emotional wreck that I was, it was difficult to let go. It has been what’s best for Asher and myself. I wasn’t enjoying my baby while I was persisting with this. More importantly, I didn’t want my desire to breastfeed to become an idol, replacing God in my life.
Interestingly before I made the decision to bottle feed, God put peace in my heart. I knew that I’d be okay however this turned out. With God’s help, I was at peace with my decision to strictly bottle feed.
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| A smile for Mummy! |
And everyone is much happier now. :)
