On Sunday as I was walking to Aldi, a feeling of fear rushed over me. I was terrified. Being home from our Christmas holiday was nice, but I suddenly realised that Carlisle still doesn’t quite seem like home yet. I’ve only been here for 3 months. Three months provides at least some familiarity, but not quite enough all the time.
Our fireplace mantle decorated for Christmas makes it feel like “home.” |
I still don’t quite know where I’ll fit in. I still can’t find my way around town that easily—It’s getting easier, although I still have to look up places on the map even though I’ve been there several times. I’m still adjusting to the culture. It’s cold and rainy, yet it’s better than the snow and sub-zero (celsius) temperatures we’ve been having here.
At the moment when fear rushed through me, questions popped into my head: What am I doing here, God? Will I ever feel like I belong?
After processing through things, I felt more at ease. Adjustment takes time. Transition takes time. Baby steps are important. Thank You God for Your strength and grace!
All of this has gotten me thinking about what makes a place home. I think there is a certain level of comfort that has to be attained, which in my case, is occurring in baby steps. Perhaps that’s partially why I’ve taken so much pride in our own house. It’s slowly becoming more like home. It’s become a refuge for me, and it’s familiarity is sweet.
I’ve been having a lot of these types of thoughts lately with the holidays coming around. I’m also reading this great book called “Dwelling: Living Fully from the Space You Call Home” by Mary Beth Lagerborg about what makes a house a home and what is considered “home” for the author and others. I would highly recommend the book (And I’ll probably be blogging about it as soon as I finish the book!).
P.S. Like the new name of my blog? I thought it was due for a change… :) Hopefully it doesn’t throw you off too much.
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